Dealing with the other women in your man’s life can be quite tricky because it can either make or mar your relationship with him. Just because it is not an easy thing to do doesn’t mean it is not doable
Here’s how you can keep your love life intact without creating reality television-worthy drama with your man’s close circle of female family and friends.
The Controlling Mom
Most mothers have a huge influence in their son’s life and sometimes that extends into his romantic relationships. If you find yourself in a relationship with a man whose mother does not know when to let go and is always controlling, you shouldn’t take it to heart. The truth is that her behavior is not a reflection of your inabilities but the fact that for most mothers (especially single mothers), their son fills a void in their lives and he is the man she trusts the most.
The diplomatic way to deal with the situation is to sit down with him and say, “Look, I understand you’re close to your mother. I don’t want to take that away from you. How can you also make me feel like I’m important?” Have him be part of the problem-solving.
The Sister-in-Law From Hell
Your partner’s sister like his mother plays a major role in his life and they may have a close bond that you believe he should have with you instead. He may naturally think you and she will get along but in actuality, the two of you can barely stand each other. You even find it difficult to sit across from her during family dinners. News flash! You two simply might not click right now and perhaps you never will. She’s not obligated to be your BFF. Being a grown-up means getting along with difficult people and humbling yourself to admit you may not deserve a Sister-in-Law of the Year Award either. But do your relationship a favor-avoid complaining about her to him. Making your significant other choose between his sister and you will always make you appear insensitive.
A Resenting Daughter
If you find yourself dating a man who has a daughter, it is only natural that there might be some friction between you and the younger woman. Your relationship with her father may make her resent you because she feels threatened but it is up to you and her father to bridge the gap. You have to understand that loving someone new in the family doesn’t come easily as any relationship takes work. You can explore individual therapy and counseling as well as hart-to-heart talks with each other.
The Childhood Friend
Sometimes your man has close ties with someone he schooled with or grew up with and as such this other woman may have known your man longer than you and even remind you of this. You may see her getting too touchy-feely and because of their closeness, your partner may not even realise it. You help him see how it looks on the reverse side, he can see your point of view.”
A ‘Present’ Ex
Seeing a man who is still in contact with an ex can get messy quickly for even the strongest of us, especially if a child is involved. Questions like “Are they hanging out? Are you invited?” will go through your head. Your man should be more concerned about making you feel at his ease than his ex and if the situation particularly disturbs you, discuss it with your partner.
The Close ‘Colleague’
Seventy percent of business professionals have or have had a work spouse-someone they confide in on the job. It is essential you get along with your man’s business partners. How to deal with this is to get clear with your partner on boundaries so it’s apparent when a line is crossed.